I Cannot

I will not.

I will not shed another tear for you.

I cannot.

I have laid down a tear for every should have, would have, could have that was uttered between us.

I have laid down a tear for every hope that went unanswered.

I have laid down a tear for every hurtful word that was thrown carelessly into the wind.

I will not shed another tear for you.

I cannot.

I came to you, bare faced and open.

And I shed tears as a new born would have.

Unabashedly. Without walls.

I came to you.

And I left, staring out from the tiny window next to my seat.

Willing myself to cry but I remained dry-eyed. Knowing I was wrong.

I didn’t come home after all. I was just visiting.

And it was time to go.

I have shed many more a tear after that.

Many more nights crying myself to sleep.

Many more days staring out unto a traffic jam and sobbing my heart out.

Many more.

But I will not shed another tear for you.

No matter how pretty a picture you paint how an imaginary future between us could be.

No matter the words, now chosen carefully.

No matter the promises.

No matter the hopes, now ready to be answered.

I will not shed another tear for you.

I cannot.

I have used them all up.

And when the tears are gone. Everything else is too.

(Lost) Art Of Listening

The (lost) art of listening.

We all think we’re good listeners most of the time.

But if we can only press pause and replay in slow motion at our daily interactions, we might find that we don’t actually listen. Not very well or deliberately at least.

 

 

We listen to respond.

We listen to ask.

We listen to say something.

 

We listen. Partially.

And the ironic yet most predictable thing about that is, if you tell someone they’ve been somewhat lacking in this department, it’s almost a guarantee that’s the last thing they’ll do.

So what’s a person to do?

How do you “make” someone listen to you saying they’re not listening? 

 

You don’t. 

You try your best to tell them how it is. Then you carry on. 

 

The right people will not have to be told to listen. At least not over and over.

The right people will listen to the hard stuff… especially being told they didn’t listen.