Fine

Jumping off from a quote I read recently about goodbyes and hellos…how being brave enough to say goodbye opens up possibilities to say hello to something else.

I’ve definitely said my fair share of goodbyes recently…and you know what, I feel fine with it. Even if I felt what could be described as a “searing pain” somewhere in the middle of my chest during the times I said them, I realized, I was actually, also, just fine.

And in fact, more than fine. I felt… hopeful.

I guess that’s when you know it’s time to let go of things, people, places, what-have-you’s that you carry around with you – when despite the pain, you actually do feel fine.

Now “fine” is a word most often associated with disguised anger or annoyance at the very least.  “Fine” has had its meaning bound to circumstances that seem to suggest, if you’re saying it, you’re most definitely not feeling it. Much maligned and misunderstood for most of the time,  I would beg to disagree on this instance though. Instances rather.

Said goodbye to a job… and I feel fine.

Said goodbye to someone I was seeing even though I liked him… and I feel fine.

Said goodbye to someone who at one point, I could have sworn was a soul mate…and I feel fine…

Because as it turns out, I know what’s best for me. And what’s best for me, wasn’t any of those things. Not anymore.

So. Simply put, I feel fine. And I can actually say that with a smile.

And just to use a certain play of words here, I’m fine with feeling just fine for now. You know why? Because after some ups and downs, I like feeling “just fine” for now.  It almost feels as if I’m just…resting.

By the beach…now who wouldn’t be perfectly fine with that?

Oh, and about those “hellos”… I’ve already been welcoming them with a smile and saying “I’m fine, thank you, how are you?”… all day long since yesterday.

And why yes, I am more than fine with that.

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