See You On The Other Side

The other day I posted something about the song “Better Days”… and hearing it again when I happened to see the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”. I also mentioned the story’s “partly autobiographical”…No, not that I wrote it But it does parallel my life somewhat.

So, anyway, I’ve eaten…had my fill of the good stuff (and I’m not just talking about food) and I know pretty much I’ll keep on wanting to do that – enjoy life’s pleasures.

But then, I might have just bypassed pray altogether…although I like to think that every time I marveled at something new or old, something simple, an experience, a new friendship, it was already a form of prayer. Then again, perhaps it’s time to take it up a notch. Or go deeper.

I knew I went straight to love… a great many loves. And I’ve felt the most amazing connections really, but without the right foundation for it, I now find myself at a crossroads.

Between thinking this is all that I want – to be single and happily living my life on my own. And then there’s this tug on my heartstrings that whispers I would also be happy sharing my life. Again.

I said once that most of my relationships are short-term because that is all I can handle at the moment, that it’s all that I want, all that I’m being…so I am drawn to those kinds of relationships.

And I admit, I know how true that is for me.

Only, like I said, I quit the superficial stuff… it’s not enough anymore. I want something with more substance and real intimacy.

But I may just be jumping ahead of myself here. Bypassing “pray” might not have been such a great idea after all. I was just in such a hurry to live big and love great. I wanted to take it all in and I still do.  I see nothing wrong with that, but perhaps balancing that with a little more introspection would be good too?

So, here’s the thing.

Where I’m from, the “Holy Week” is a huge thing (meaning, a long holiday season, no work, and practically most shops and clubs are closed). Perfect time to engage in a little introspection. Or a lot.

Depends on what I find when I get there. 

And while I’m doing that, all will be quiet in this blog (and maybe my other blogs as well).

See you on the other side. 

Wish me luck.

What Do You Like About You And Your Life?

Another stream of consciousness piece of writing…

mainly to ask a question. Out loud. Of myself, and maybe of you, if you’d like to consider it.

Do you know what your “thing” is?

Let me rephrase, have you figured out the things that make you feel happy?

It can be anything really…big or small…

Just that something, you know, you’re meant to do?

I didn’t always know these things, but I do know some now and would like to share them with you.

I know I’m meant to drink proper english tea in a proper english cup in a traditional english way.  I like green tea, flowery teas, spicy teas. But I always go back to english teas – with milk please. During my recent trip to the UK, my friend served me breakfast when I got there. And tea. In a proper dainty english cup. With milk. I felt like I was coming home.

I was supposed to buy one of those tea sets but got to buying vintage cameras first and those were quite heavy  - so sadly, I had to forego my tea set. But I want one. My whole tea experience have always felt incomplete until that time. Good thing my friend knows of my love affair with tea so she’ll be sending me pictures of sets I can choose from and then she’ll send them over. I can’t wait.

In the meantime. I still enjoy a cup of tea everyday… but usually I take green tea and drink it in those small chinese cups or in a completely nondescript mug…for a different kind of experience. Because I know I’m meant to drink proper english tea in a proper english cup in a traditional english way – and I won’t settle for anything less.

I know I’m meant to dance. Oh, maybe not professionally, or for a living. But I am sure of it. I am meant to dance every week, otherwise, my week feels incomplete. I’ve had no formal training under my belt. Save for the classes I’ve been taking for almost a year and a half now.  And I can’t get enough actually. No matter how tired I am, how sleepy, how stressed, or even if there doesn’t seem to be any time left for dancing, I make sure to go to at least one dance class in a week. Or go to a club with friends and just dance the night away. Sometimes I actually turn towards a mirror and start dancing with myself. It feels so natural to be dancing.

And I always come out of it a completely renewed person.

I feel free when I’m dancing. I feel sexy, strong, warm, turned on. I feel myself most. Maybe, I’ll dance professionally yet then.

I know I’m meant to have art in my life. All kinds of art. Any kind. And not just other people’s art. Mine too.  It feels like pure ecstasy for me to walk into an art gallery and find something that speaks to me. I love museums. I can spend hours and hours in one. Again, I have no formal training in art studies. I recognize some artists, but I won’t pretend to know what style or era a piece of art is from. I just know when it speaks to me.

As for my art, I’m still experimenting… and I know I am meant to experiment. There is one thing I am sure about already though at this point…I know I am meant to take photographs. It’s a passion that I’m going to nurture always. Because it makes me feel so relaxed and at one with everything. A friend remarked once – the same one that’s sending me pictures of the tea set – when I mentioned I was going off somewhere on my own, that there is no need to worry about me… just give me a camera and I’m all set.

Before things went digital, I already had plans of where I was going to put my dark room. But digital came along and I adapted along with it. Still, I do very little touch ups. Sure, I take out shadows now and then, but I prefer adjusting my camera’s setting instead. It feels more authentic.

I know I am meant to travel. Go wandering off somewhere, sometimes at the drop of a hat, without thinking too much about the “ifs” and “buts”. Because I am meant to experience the world not as a tourist, but as a visitor. I never quite felt that way before, but I do now. I can’t explain how that happened. All I know is, when I travel, there are always moments of pure joy even when, or perhaps, especially when, I’m out of my comfort zone, alone, sometimes lost, marveling at something inconsequential to others. It could be something even as simple as a meal I’ve never tried before.

And I know I’m meant to sing out loud when I’m driving my car. Loud enough that to be heard outside. Have you tried it? I highly recommend it. It feels absolutely great. That’s all there is to it really.

So there, just some things I’ve figured out, I’m meant to do.

Nothing earth shattering about them… but they are a part of what makes me smile about my life. And what I like about me.

What do you like about you and your life?

10,000 Stat Mark

It took some time but it’s finally here.

The 10,ooo Stat Mark.

And I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who’ve subscribed to this blog and who continue to visit.  At the very least, I hope you find something here that entertains you, makes you laugh or sigh, or just altogether, makes your visit worthwhile.